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Schlock du Jour: Taeter City (2012)

directed by Giulio De Santi
runtime: 82 mins

Necessity is the mother of invention. Daenerys Targaryen is the mother of dragons. Judy Garland is the mother of Liza Minnelli.

Okay so I can’t figure out how to begin this review. They say if you just start typing that eventually everything will work itself out. Taeter City is kinda like that? Well it isn’t, but if you keep watching its goofy ass, eventually it will end, so that’s something.

Let me start over. How about this…

Taeter City is a scrumptious vegan’s delight. Eating animals is punishable by death! What’s that you say? Eating criminals is encouraged? All I have to do is drive up to my nearest Taeter Burger and order a buttcheek sandwich with blended cartilage sauce?

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Art Lives On #9: “Lips”

The September installment of Art Live On is here!

Sometimes — actually rather often — I hear a string of words that amuses me in its content and possesses a natural rhythm. Often the rhythm of the string of words suggests the possible rhythm of the entire song.

The string of words, in the present case found at the end of the third verse, instantly suggested both a preferred musical genre (country music), the feeling of the song (comedy), and it identified itself as the “hook” or “punchline” that might reward the listener for sticking with the song through the first two and most of the third verse. I knew early on that I wanted a vocal track and guitar, bass, solo violin and percussion, and later I added a backup violin, banjo and some oohs and aahs. At its core, this is a bit of a relationship song, in which the tolerant singer identifies the limits of his/her tolerance.

As for the title, I decided that rather than use the entire eight-word hook, which would prematurely disclose the joke, I’d shorten it to just one word: “Lips.” The short title does not telegraph what’s coming, and rather might suggest a sensual love song. Surprise!

Songwriting for me is a labor of love. So, as Labor Day celebrations occur early in September, it seems fitting to have a bit of musical fun. So, clap yer hands and flap yer “Lips”!

Cheers!

A Slice of Fright – Official Soundtrack Release

Great music can push a mediocre short film into the realm of “really cool”. And a great soundtrack and push a good film into the “really awesome” territory.

As the 2nd full seasons of the horror anthology series, A Slice of Fright, comes to an end– and CinemaSlice reflects on the 20 short films we’ve produced for this series within the last 12 months– We wanted to shine the spotlight on the eery music that makes these films worth watching.

We’ve had the pleasure of working with numerous talented musicians to produce creepy original soundtrack compositions for each episode of A Slice of Fright. So without further ado, THANK YOU to all of the musicians featured on this free collection of original music:

  • Austin-Michael Riley
  • Marvin Maddicks, Jr
  • David Waldman
  • Echos of BC
  • Leland Leger

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK FOR FREE

Meet the Slicer: ReelRat

Sup Slicers!
It’s my pleasure the introduce the immensely entertaining, ReelRat, in Omaha, NE.
If you’ve not yet read any articles from his CinemaSlice series, Schlock Du Jour, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! GO NOW
ReelRat is a hard-working and dedicated dude who immerses himself into the world of Schlock Cinema!
*Hallelujah chorus plays*
ReelRat was born Elliot Ian Ross to a rockstar and a stripper, so it’s no surprise that is forté is trash. His vampiric tendencies of avoiding the sunlight have led to his mind being poisoned by the stacks of schlock cinema in his home.

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“Monday” Reel Review

At some point in everybody’s life we have all experienced an extreme case of the Monday’s. In the comedy film “Monday”, written and directed by Alejandro Montoya Marin, we find out that maybe our “extreme” Monday may not be the worst after all. “Monday” follows the exploits of Jim (Jamie H. Jung) a young man who is more interested in his hobbies (video games, Game of Thrones, smoking weed) than he is with his job or his girlfriend Alice (Bonnie Gayle). He wakes up one Monday and soon finds out that his lackadaisical attitude has gotten him fired from his job and his girlfriend to leave him. Just when he thinks things can’t get any worse, his Monday goes from bad to extraordinary terrible.

Monday” takes the simple concept of having a bad day and turns it on its head. The mixture of everyday experiences that are relatable, with the over the top moments that a normal person would most likely never experience makes the story very intriguing for the viewer. You connect with the main character Jim in a way that, even though he has gotten himself into this situation by his own bad habits and actions, you feel for him and want to see him succeed in the end. I know that when I’ve had a bad day I sometimes think “How can this day get any worse?” and this movie answers that question in a extremely hilarious fashion.

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“The Poker Table Observations” Reel Review

11 mins

Dramedy by Classy Dog Pictures / Patrick Neff

Just another night playing poker with the boys. This is the setting for CinemaSlice.coms Indy Movie Spotlight film for August “The Poker Table Observations”, written and directed by Patrick Neff. In this comedy short we get to look in on the often hysterical insights and observations of a group of friends playing poker as they explore topics such as their personal lives, the opposite sex, and cliches that they find ridiculous in various movie genres.

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Schlock du Jour: Rollergator (1996)

directed by Don G. Jackson
runtime: 83 mins

I am a disappointment. Before you attempt to console me, please, just listen to my story.

I had it all planned out, see? I held my horses for the perfect opportunity. I had waited so long to finally see it, and I knew I needed my best mates Jade, Jeremy, and Tim there to enjoy the experience with me. I also needed drinks of course. You can’t forget the drinks when you’re screening an A+ Schlock bomb that would rewire our synapses after it blew our collective minds. This was going to be a great night. We were going to watch Rollergator. Hell. Yes.

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Hell.
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Yes.

Fast forward 83 minutes to me sitting there, in silence, embarrassed and ashamed as the credits rolled. Because that’s when I realized that I showed the wrong movie. What I meant to watch involved women in skimpy clothing turning into reptiles, and then killing other people to turn them into gay zombies! It had been Repligator I meant to watch! Bret McCormick’s erotic sci-fi romp from the same year. Not whatever the shit this was. I had never even actually heard of Rollergator, it had merely incepted its way into my mind like its name was Berenstein Bears. Press [F] to pay respects.

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“Pure O” – Reel Review

FORMAT DETAILS
Short Dramedy
DURATION: 19:28
LOCATION: Dayton,Ohio, United States COMPLETED: July 2018

Purity, the lead singer of the newly signed indy rock band O, wakes up to begin the last day of her bands independence. These are some of the opening moments of “Pure O”, a quirky comedic drama written and directed by W.M. Weikart and BlueBeard Productions. As we follow Purity (Stella Singer) through her daily routines we meet an eclectic cast of family and friends that have differing opinions about Purity’s hobbies, the decisions she makes in her life, and who she is as a person. We also begin to find out that Purity has hidden issues that she is struggling with internally, and that she may have to make some tough choices in dealing with these struggles that will change her life forever.

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A Slice of Fright – Early Bird Deadline

A SLICE OF FRIGHT FILM FESTIVAL invites you to submit your short horror films and scripts to FilmFreeway.com/SliceFest

Submit your film before 9/1/2018 to take advantage of the Early Bird Submission discount

The jury members from A Slice of Fright Film Festival invite you to submit your short films and scripts.

Submit your short horror film or script at FilmFreeway.com/SliceFest

#SliceThePlanet #SupportIndependentCinema #ASliceofFright

Art Lives On #8 – “One Night In June”

In June of every year for about the past decade, I’ve played live music as part of the festivities of “A Night in June”, a music celebration which takes place in Pinconning City Park, Pinconning, Michigan, during the month of June.

This year, while I was rehearsing with my fellow musicians, it occurred to me that the festival itself has no “signature song.” So, I set about trying to see if our performance group would be interested in playing a new original song for which I’d provide the lead sheets. The group was in favor, and we rehearsed the tune in anticipation of performance.

I then decided to share the song with CinemaSlice.com for to feature as part of my “Art Lives On” series, in which I’m providing one original song during each month of 2018.

The song is a simple 1950’s-style vintage cowboy or country waltz. The recorded arrangement features vocals, violin, guitar, bass, chorus, and percussion.

Cheers!