Plot: Locked Away follows the Turner family in their attempt to flee a zombie outbreak that is accidentally unleashed upon their small town.
Review: The first thing that stuck out to me was the one boys last name, Savini. Haha, I see you Jason Morisette. I appreciate that nod to the great Tom Savini. For the readers that don’t know, Tom Savini is known for his incredible effects work on Dawn of the Dead and makeup on Friday the 13th!
Was a bloody good time and would recommend to anyone who is a hardcore zombie fan.
Jumping into the movie, we see Michael Turner (Travis Boswell) returning home from war. Little does he know that the life he hoped to return to has changed. Travis did a great job and it made me wonder if he actually did serve. He reminded me a lot of my brother in law who is currently serving. His younger brother Ty Turner (Ben Gordon) and Ty’s best friend Brad Savini (Max Dardas) reminded me of my friend Tylor and I when we were that age. Always up to something, but we never had a damn zombie (Matt Crews) in a shed lol. Little more on that later.
Continue reading “Film Review: Locked Away”
The inevitable time has come again when something old is cool again. No i’m not talking about those pair of JNCO jeans you’ve been holding on to, i’m talking about them sweet sweet VHS tapes. Unless you are a VHS elitist then you have probably long stopped caring about tapes. It’s dead media unless you are part of the few that stayed or the ones returning to the format. I for one mainly collect horror tapes (horror anything for that matter). There were many movies that were left behind and never got to make a transition to DVD. Though finally we are starting to see some of them being produced on Blu-ray. This is not a top 5 of my VHS only movies, just a top 5 of my favorite movies on VHS in my collection. Lets GOOOOOO!
5. Hell Comes To Frogtown (1988)
Roddy Piper was and still is a badass. They Live has to be one of my favorite sci-fi flicks of all time. I stumbled upon my copy of this film at my local Goodwill. Someone graced their entire VHS horror collection on to the store. I was lucky enough to stop in on my lunch break and by chance I found what was left of it. The lady working the counter said there had been a lot more, but it was mostly picked over.
This gem takes place in the post apocalyptic future where infertility runs rampant. Sam Hell (Roddy Piper) is a prisoner of the women who run the USA after the nuclear war. He is tasked with mission of rescuing a group of fertile women from a group of mutants that resemble frogs. Attached to his junk is a bomb that they will detonate if he strays too far. It’s is all a parody of Snake Pliskken pretty much lol.
Continue reading “My Top 5 VHS Tapes”
I want to make it clear right away. This is my top 5, not the top 5 period. There are many hardcore horror fans that will see this list and laugh at its lack of depth. I honestly don’t care. Go look at the endless lists that either end in Nosferatu or Bela Lugosi’s Dracula as the number one. Really go do it, I will wait. It’s literally like every one of them out there. I’m not here to kiss cinema ass, just give a straight answer of my top 5 vampire movies so lets kick it!
5. 30 Days of Night
For anyone who has seen this movie it’s easy to see why it made the list. The slaughter scene is easily one of my favorite moments in horror period. As the camera soars over the once sleepy Alaskan town we see the chaos unfold as crimson sprays upon the snow. The vampires go house to house taking the lives of each and every family. That’s when we realize that they are not hunting for food but for fun. With the sun not shinning for 30 days they have the run of the town and have no plans on leaving a single survivor. The terror of that is beautiful and they did a great job capturing it in the slaughter scene.
I can’t leave this movie without talking about the scream that the vampires make. That ghastly inhale sucking shriek. How many of you tried to do it after watching the movie? Show of hands please. This guy right here sure as hell did. I practiced it in fact until I could mimic it perfectly and would unleash it in parking lots late at night. I will never forget the time I scared the crap out of the lady at Walmart who turned around swinging hahaha. Ahh to be a 16 year old asshole again… now i’m just a asshole!
Yeah yeah yeah, holy shit Nate is mainstream as heck. No, I am being honest unlike you. I know ya’ll put a pair of black shades on and pretended to be Blade cuz I know I sure did. I was 7 when this came out and got to secretly watch it in all of its ass kicking glory at a friends house. Your damn right we jumped from couch to couch pretending to be Mr. Snipes staking vamps. Continue reading “My Top 5 Vampire Movies”
The Devil’s Candy (86%Netflix Match)
Netflix Description: A struggling painter moves his family into a house with a horrific past and soon finds himself being artistically inspired by demonic forces.
As soon as I saw IFC Midnight scroll across the screen I immediately knew I was in for a ride. IFC either has really bad movies, really good hidden gems or movies that make you question your moral standings just for watching them lol. Thankfully The Devil’s Candy is one of those gems you never thought you would uncover, but you do. This film shows us the reality of true evil which is man.
Lets start off with the acting on this one. Not a single poor performance across the board. I love it when I can watch a movie and feel like i’m getting to peer into this other dimension into peoples lives. That is exactly what a film should be. When you can tell someone is acting it ruins the whole thing, it breaks your concentration. This movie pulled me in from start to finish and left me on the edge of my seat.
Pruitt Taylor Vince plays such a damn good killer/mental patient that it makes you fear you never see his character in real life. I assumed this movie was going to be some typical black contact wearing, people flying across the room jump fest and it wasn’t. He can get that look in his eyes where he looks like he his off in his own world and it sells his character even more. That disconnect he can do is amazing.
I didn’t realize it at first but at the end I saw Ethan Embry as almost like this Christ like figure. Not sure if they meant him to seem that way or not but it came off to me like he was. He was rocking that medium long hair with the short beard defeating the evil that was Vince. I would really love to talk the writers on this one and pick their brain. The same look goes for most metal dudes though so maybe it’s just me reaching for more than it’s worth. Continue reading “5. The Devil’s Candy (Movie Review)”
Netflix Description: This four-part anthology of short horror films features stories that include some traditional themes but all are shown from a female point of view.
Review: Right away we see that this movie has broken off from our Netflix suggested trend of ghost/demon movies. Why doesn’t this one fit with the Netflix algorithm we have been seeing (refer back to first article of this series to get filled in)? Well good reader I can tell you exactly why.
This is a Magnet Releasing movie. No matter how many bad movies I dive into, no matter how many times I share my account password and friends ruin my suggested list, Magnet will always be there. That is because not a single Magnet movie I have watched on Netflix has received anything less than a 4 star rating from me or a thumbs down if we are talking the new rating system. They will always be the highest rated suggestion on Netflix for me. Simply put without going total fan boy right now, THEY ONLY RELEASE GOOD MOVIES! Oh yes there will be a whole article series just for their films coming up, don’t you worry. Until then lets start breaking this movie down.
This movie is split up into 4 short films which are all shown from a female point of view and are all directed by women. I would say there is actually 5 films in this because of the intro and its continuation as a transition piece between films. Not sure if that is actual considered “XX” or if it had a name at all, but it was one of the coolest stop motion animations I have seen in a long time. As far as the short films go they span the full spectrum of horror, Lets look at the first!
Continue reading “4. XX (Movie Review)”
Demonic (96% Netflix Match)
Netflix Description: When amateur ghost hunters visit an abandoned house, their investigation turns into a massacre, leaving questions for a detective and a psychologist.
Review: I hate to keep rating these movies so low but I mean come on. Snooze fest after snooze fest. No literally, I fell asleep during this movie and had to start over where I left off at a later time. When you watch a movie it shouldn’t feel like work and that’s exactly what it felt like to watch this.
Lets start with the characters. Not a single one stood out to me. I usually like fresh actors in movies instead of stars we’ve seen time and again. With the exception to movies like this. You could have went to any college campus anywhere and picked random, generic people to be in this and that’s exactly what this cast felt like. “Hey kid, do you want to be in a movie, cuz now you’re in a movie!” The only character I felt anything for, and don’t ask me why was Jenkins played by Terence Rosemore. He just seemed like one of those guys you really hoped nothing would happened to in the movie because he looked like a genuine guy. That’s just me though, I like interesting characters. As my mom always says, “If everyone in the world was the same, it would be a really boring place” and that is what most of this cast makes… a very boring movie. Continue reading “3. Demonic (Movie Review)”
Feast your sensory units upon the newest release from Play Ground X. The Play Ground X Season 1 soundtrack! Now spinning at a stunning 78 revolutions per minute! Brought to you from the future to listen to in the past, I assure to you the whole soundtrack is a blast. From “It Knows!” to “Beard-B-There“, you can listen to them anywhere!
When projected at 152 decibels directly to the inner trunk, it is also said to repel three armed shelephants with ease. Now you can venture into the wild if you please.
With music composed by AVZTN and featuring many other voices you’ve come to know and love. It may make your day, your week, your month or even your year. It will be there for you, even when the rain starts to pour. It will be there for you, like we’ve been there before. It will be there for you, like you’ve been there for us too.
It’s too good to keep it to yourself, share it with your imaginary friends or maybe someone else! The uses are endless for the Play Ground X Season 1 Soundtrack. Works wonders as lullabies to get children back to sleep. Use it to take the dogs for a walk or to talk to nana on the phone.
But wait there’s more! For a limited time only the first ten readers to send in a Haiku with a Play Ground X theme will get a one of a kind opportunity to try out a product from one of our sponsors.
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Don’t just take it from us though, read what some of our listeners have been saying!
“Ever since beginning my twice a day regiment of the Play Ground X Soundtrack I have grown a whole inch and three quarters. Thanks Play Ground X and CinemaSlice!” – Greg, Los Angelas, California
“Is this real life? I didn’t think it could get this good!” – Alice, Liverpool, England
House on Willow Street (98% Netflix Match)
Netflix Description: A group of desperate kidnappers learn the hard way that their captive isn’t just another damsel in distress… She’s a demon.
Have to be honest with this, I don’t recognize a single actor in this one. I see that a few have played in some bigger movies recently like Robocop and Step Up 3D but I haven’t seen either to be able to fully judge on these actors skills. The actor that stood out the most to me didn’t even get the spotlight and that was Gustav Gerdener who played James. Gustav seemed like a natural and did a hell of a job at acting possessed. Hopefully he will get picked up for some bigger roles in the future!
Now on to the camera work which is something I usually do not touch on. For not being a blockbuster hit, the camera work was on par and looked very fluid. I especially liked the scenes that required the camera to follow the actors. There was just enough stability to make it not “shaky cam” but still give it enough bounce to make the camera seem natural. To which I give the team props. Continue reading “2. House on Willow Street (Movie Review)”
Two years ago I found myself steering towards horror movies with spirits or demons in them. It all started with me forcing myself to watch all of the Paranormal Activity movies in order. Paranormal Activity is one of those series you absolutely love, or you hate every last second of. The only middle ground being the first movie maybe the first time we all watched it. It was a challenge for me to say the least as i’m not a big fan of P.O.V./Found Footage movies. Anyways after finishing them I found myself wanting more movies with the same theme so I steered towards Netflix and burned through every ghost/spirit/demon movie I could find. This left my account thinking that these types of movies were literally the only type of horror movie I wanted to watch. It still affects my account suggestions to this day.
This brings us back to the Netflix algorithm and the reviews I’m about to give of my most suggested movies by them. You will start to see a trend in how all of the movies have the same theme. Well, that’s because of two years ago. When I do my reviews I make it a goal to do absolutely no research on what I’m about to watch. It gives a more honest review and I take notes of exactly what goes through my head when it happens. I thought it would be fun to show you exactly what I was thinking by taking notes of it and writing it down for you in a section I will title, “play by play”. This is the beginning. My top 5 suggested horror movies by Netflix.
1. The Black Room (75% Netflix Match)
Netflix description: A couples new dream home morphs into a nightmare after they learn that an evil and lustful spirit resides in thier basement.
Review: Continue reading “It Begins… 1. The Black Room (Movie Review)”
No, this isn’t news on the newest installment that you don’t want of a old film favorite. You know, the ones that have six sequals, two presequals and the revamp we never wanted. In this day and age it would be easy to think otherwise with a title like that though ^. It seems every time we log in there is another cult classic being sent to reboot slaughter that should have went out on a high note. Maybe you keep getting the same style of movie over and over again when you search the horror genre in your favorite streaming service. Which leaves us with this question, why? The answer is simple. WE are the reason this keeps happening.
Ever wonder why it seems like Facebook ads always seem to know exactly what you want? I hear at least once a month a friend say, “man, were we not just talking about this?” or “I swear my phone is listening to me!”. Well, that’s because it is in a way and that my readers is the power of data science. Every time you make a search in that little browser bar up there, it is logged. Every time you say, “hey Cortana, show me the latest horror movie trailers” she takes a note. It might not be “Big Brother” watching you, but there are a bunch of data scientists out there using your data to sway the market and to keep you buying. We keep getting the same thing because we constantly make it a trending question until its a reality. With a market like ours that is so unpredictable they had to nail down a way to hold your interest and make money. All of our searches are put in to graph format and used for marketing. Netflix for example uses all of your search results and watches to curate a list just for you. They have this amazing algorithm that your data is put in to that calculates out other shows like the ones you already watched. This either keeps us hooked on Netflix and we become one with the couch, or we start getting frustrated that we are not seeing anything we want. One little slip up can set your curated list off in the wrong direction though.
My Netflix account is 7 years old now, has been with me through a lot and is practically like my kid now. It has been learning and growing for some time and that is kind of creepy to think about, so don’t. The one thing you want to make sure to do is to keep your account yours. If you have multiple people using your subscription make sure to make them their own accounts as well. We all have that one friend that’s like, “bro, let me get your account login so me and my girl can chill later”. You give him the password and BoOm! His girl picks the worst rom coms known to man, they are forever checked as viewed in your system and now your most suggested movie at 95% is 13 Going on 30. Your years of finding the coolest most obscure horror movies and having new ones suggested to you is now gone. Yes this is from experience and no you don’t want it to happen to you. Luckily around year four I took a small break in subscribing to Netflix and most suggestions were set back to basic when I came back.
How can you change anything you ask? Well it is very simple and requires little effort. It’s called free thought. Give that new director or actor or anything for that matter a chance! You might just find something you like. We keep getting the same big budget garbage movies because we show the industry that it is still in demand. I make it a goal to watch movies that no one is talking about. It’s how I end up finding some of my favorite flicks! Which is why I thought it would be fun for one of my first horror movie review articles to be about horror movies suggested to me by Netflix with the highest percentages. So stick around for my next article and find out if the Netflix algorithm has me figured out by key words and tags alone.