A beloved pastime of horror fans is talking about how many “Massacre” films there are. FromThe Texas Chain Saw Massacreto Alien Beach Party Massacre, and pretty much anything you can fathom in between (I’ve yet to see a Purple Weasel Massacre, but I’m sure it’s in production). So when I heard there was a film called Leaf Blower Massacre, I was as surprised as I was to find out Roman Reigns is facing Brock Lesnar at Summerslam for the Universal Championship. That is to say, not at all.
Leaf Blower Massacre is a 2013 short approximately 12 minutes in length. In it, we are introduced to a killer that is a dead ringer for the nail gun killer in Nail Gun Massacre, except instead of a high-velocity carpentry tool, the killer is wielding none other than the eponymous leaf blower. The fact that the weapon needs an outlet to work is a funny way to poke fun at the killer’s weapon trope. This short is all in good fun, even if it does seem to get confused about what it actually is, much in the way the WWE creative team is confused about the character of Roman Reigns. What would have been more compelling is if our 12 minutes of attention were met with a relentless onslaught of killing randos in clever ways with a leaf blower. But I’m projecting.
DISCLAIMER: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS NERDY AND INAPPROPRIATE SHIT.
From director Jim Wynorski, Heather Locklear’s Boobs AKA The Return of Swamp Thing
I saw Avengers: Infinity War against my better judgement. I knew I was done with the modern superhero yarn and I got absolutely nothing out of it. It was big, it was busy, it was SAME-Y. In other words, it was being stuck in traffic on the way to work on Monday morning. The good vs evil dynamic that seems to drive everything isn’t of much interest to me, and when it comes to superhero films, that angle is obviously amplified. For that reason, you won’t find me reviewing superhero films very often…
Enter The Return of Swamp Thing. Based on characters from the DC comic where Swamp Thing is basically Captain Planet without the kids and rings. there are also things like the Rotworld story-line, wherein Swamp Thing—as an avatar of “The Green”, and Animal Man—as an avatar of “The Red”, are tasked by The Parliament of Trees and The Parliament of Limbs, respectively, to team up to defeat Dr. Anton Arcane and “The Rot”. It’s trippy and nightmarish, Lovecraftian even, as it features animals and humans being turned inside out. It is good. Most importantly it feels more like a horror story than a superhero one.
Point being, I view Swamp Thing in a different light, as in my experience he’s portrayed as less of a hero and more of a pile of vegetable matter that just happens to be an elemental entity of balance. That entire point is moot however, since we are talking about Wynorski’s The Return of Swamp Thing.
CinemaSlice.com presents a new film review series: The Shorter-Than-The-Trailer Review Show.
Are you a busy person?
Don’t have time to listen to people spend hours talking about whether or not a film is worth watching? All that reading required from the local critic take to long? Then we’ve got the solution for you -The Shorter-Than-The-Trailer Review Show.
I’ll rate and discuss a film in less time than it takes to watch the official trailer. Your coffee won’t even be finished brewing and you’ll know enough to decide if a movie is worth watching.
“Disinformation” is defined by the Merriam-Webster.com dictionary as “false information deliberately and often covertly spread (as by the planting of rumors) in order to influence public opinion or obscure the truth.” The song explores this word, the first use of which was in 1939.
CinemaSlice.com presents: Art Lives On – A collection of original music by David Waldman.
Each month of 2018, CinemaSlice.com will feature original instrumental or vocal music in a wide variety of genres, composed and performed by David Waldman. At the end of this music experiment, CinemaSlice.com will release a full musical compilation for free download containing each of David Waldman’s monthly songs, as well as some bonus materials!
Each track from this compilation will release slowly, much like a pendulum, finally crescendoing with the FREE compilation for download in Nov of 2018!
“Darkling the Soundtrack”, for the film “DARKLING” by Michael Welborn, is music that is as much psychologically thrilling as the film itself. The music compilation is a mixture of beautiful compositions with dark, eerie elements, making this an album to enjoy multiple times. “DARKLING” the film is a must watch, but “Darkling the Soundtrack” tells the story of the movie just as well.
The main reason this soundtrack works so well is that, despite a variety of musical genres, the tone of the album fits the film throughout.
An early track “Bassling” (by AVZTN), with its slow, calming guitar and bass line, hits this tone perfectly. Another standout track “Stewen” (by AVZTN) is interesting in that it almost encapsulates the feel of the whole movie in one song. The soothing opening leads to a repeating rhythm on the piano that gets almost frantic before melting away to an almost silent end of the last minute. Finally “Overdose” and “Darkening the Pianos” (both by AVZTN) are a great ending to the album. The chaotic sounds of Overdose leading to the calming sounds of Darkening the Piano felt like watching a curtain closing on a car crash. Continue reading “DARKLING – Soundtrack Review”→
The X-mas Music Mixtape is a combo of classic holiday song covers and original tunes done in various musical genres. Rap, metal and punk are just some of styles you’ll hear as you go on this non-traditional Christmas journey.
My personal favorites were the fuzzed-out, jangly cover of “Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow” by Anchors Aweigh and the heavy version of Winter Wonderland called “MetalWonderland” by Johnny ZERO. I am also going to include an honorable mention to the darkest Christmas song I’ve ever heard “Violent Night” by Ray Elfman (imagine if Patrick Bateman from American Psycho wrote a Christmas song).